Walt Kania   :Writer
The You Factor
Enough about ‘us’ already
 
If you're looking to make your communications resonate better with customers, here's a seemingly radical suggestion:
 
Don't write about how wonderful your products and services are.
 
But how do you sell products and services without talking about them?  How do you get people interested in a company without telling all about the company?
 
Simple.  You write about what your customers are always interested in:  Themselves.
 
Do that and your copy will be more effective than 80% of the marketing content out there.
 
What do I mean?  Here's a bit of copy much like you'll find on the web or in almost any sales literature.
 
  1. XYZ Company's local data services portfolio includes frame relay services, private line services, and ATM services, which are all ideal for connecting nearby facilities to each other.
 
What's wrong with that?  It's clear.  It's well written.  It would get approved.  It even has a benefit there at the bottom.  I have written passages like this a thousand times.
 
But notice that the copy is all about "us".  It’s really about how wonderful XYZ Company is.  The message is "We have a big portfolio."
 
Now here's the same information presented in another way.
 
  1. With XYZ Company, you can easily interconnect your nearby offices with local frame relay links, local private lines, or with ATM service, depending on the bandwidth you need.
 
The difference?  This one is about the customer.  It's all about the options and capabilities you would have if you chose this solution. Here's what you could do if you go this route.
 
The change in orientation may seem subtle, but I contend that there is big difference in how your customer would perceive these two passages. . . even subconsciously.  One talks about XYZ company, the other talks about him.
 
Another example.
 
  1. QRS Online Sentry Service is an intranet-based service that offers information regarding potential real-time intrusions and attacks that are occurring on a private network. As part of this service, QRS will notify customers about detected suspicious or malicious activity and deliver information on recommended immediate action that can be taken.
 
A perfectly clear and accurate description of the product.  Concise, no fluff, no hype.  But notice again that it’s all about "us."  Here’s what we do.  Here are the wonderful things we do to help our customers.
 
Let's see it from the customer's viewpoint:
 
  1. On your QRS Online Sentry portal, you’ll be alerted to possible malicious activity or attacks on your network -- in real time, as they occur.  You will have detailed information about exactly what is happening, and get expert recommendations on how you can respond immediately.
  2.  
Here you are showing the customer what life would be like if he opted for this service.  "Here's what you'd have.  Here's what you could do."  That's an entirely different feel.
 
Competitive clarity
 
Once you become attuned to this customer-centric approach, you will notice how much content out there is heavily "we" oriented.   It's all "us, we, our company, us, us."  (Much like the boor who corners you at a dinner party and talks only about himself.)
 
If your competitors are in that "we" mode, keep your copy  customer-focused can give you a distinct advantage.  In comparison, your offer will seem far clearer, and your advantages more obvious.   And that will help customers picture themselves using the solution, which is the step right before buying.
 
 
The bottom line
 
See it through your reader’s eyes.
 
Write about what they will experience.
 
What would they see?  How would they be better off?
 
How would things be different if they bought it?
 
 
 
 
“It shows better manners to talk about what the customer is interested in.
 
“Which is, usually, themselves.”
“Help customers picture themselves using the solution.  
 
“That’s what they’re trying to do all along.”
“We don’t need a fourth Little Pig.  We get it already.”
“Do this, and your content will be more meaningful than 80% of the sales and marketing material out there.”
Walt Kania is a freelance writer specializing in marketing communications for B2B and technology companies.  He works out of New Jersey.  You can contact him here.
 
‘Us’ copy:
 
ABC Systems upgrades your core software automatically by periodic downloads whenever we release updates.
 
‘You’ copy:
 
Your core ABC software will be upgraded for you automatically — by periodic downloads — whenever updates are released.*
 
 
* Yes that’s the passive voice, which is perfectly okay to use at the right times.  See Hiding Behind the Passive Voice.